I think what’s always made the holidays -or more accurately- Christmas so special to me is the magic that we’ve always kept alive for our kids. My parents made each Christmas special in that way, and it was really more about the warm feeling we all got than the gifts. We never asked them if Santa was real, we just enjoyed all of the festiveness and togetherness we shared. To me, Santa is the Christmas magic! It’s special that you don’t see him, or get to know all of the secrets of Christmas. We always knew the real meaning and reason for Christmas, of course, and we’ve made sure that Laila and Carson understand that as well.
Laila is 9 this year, and she takes after my Logical Lacey side so much! I know that she has been wondering if Santa is real. Last year, one of my girlfriends told her 9 year old the deal, and she made it so special! She took her to Disney and wrote this amazing letter, and I just thought, wow! That’s the way to go. Talking about how Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness. I gave it a ton of thought and even thought, this is the year! She is way too logical to keep falling for the Elf on the Shelf or Santa anymore.
But then…Laila caught me. She’s one of those sneaky cats who will go through my closet to try and find evidence, or who gets out of bed 1000 times to catch us in the act. At first it totally irritated me, but I know that she is just trying to work out what she thinks is happening with what is really happening. I’m an investigator by nature and a total over-thinker, so I can’t be too mad. However, I was totally crushed by her reaction. She saw me staging candy wrappers for Sebastian (that damn elf’s name that we gave him 5 years ago) and then came out of her room again to find that he moved to his new spot before she even went to sleep. Or before he had time to go back to the North Pole to snitch on her to Santa.
Y’all…she was so upset. She literally yelled at us, “Just tell me the truth”! We sent her back to bed for being extra, and honestly her reaction just really upset me. I’ve worked so hard to make Christmas special each year. From the freaking elf that is a pain in the ass to move each night, in the perfect spot that the cat, dog or 5 year old can’t mess with him. To carefully selecting the perfect thing each day for their advent calendar. Taking them to go look at all of the amazing Christmas lights every year, planning the best Santa gifts and arranging everything on Christmas Eve. And I finally had my out, I could just tell her!
But….I can’t. I’m not ready to take the magic away. As much as it takes up my time and energy every December, I don’t do it for myself. I do it for them! To have them experience that wonder and magic and amazement is everything to me. I feel like if I take that away, Christmas will be just a little bit less special. It may sound weird. But they won’t be little forever, and the best part of being little is BELIEVING. So I’m going to concoct the most creative damn way for Sebastian to come back from the North Pole, and I’m going to keep doing advent and making Christmas as magical as I possibly can. Because ya gotta believe!
UPDATE: my sister and I devised the perfect plan! Michael and I took the kids to dinner and to see some Christmas lights, and she came over to my house and set this up! She is a genius, I loved the letter that she wrote them! The kids freaked out, and let’s just say that the magic is alive and well.