Category: Motherhood

Being a mama has given me such happiness and purpose. It’s also given my grey hair, tenancies towards over-protectiveness, and weight gain! All good though, my babies more than make up for the little things that will never be the same again. Because I was born to be a mother, and I love to share my journey!

I think what’s always made the holidays -or more accurately- Christmas so special to me is the magic that we’ve always kept alive for our kids. My parents made each Christmas special in that way, and it was really more about the warm feeling we all got than the gifts. We never asked them if Santa was real, we just enjoyed all of the festiveness and togetherness we shared. To me, Santa is the Christmas magic! It’s special that you don’t see him, or get to know all of the secrets of Christmas. We always knew the real meaning and reason for Christmas, of course, and we’ve made sure that Laila and Carson understand that as well.

Laila is 9 this year, and she takes after my Logical Lacey side so much! I know that she has been wondering if Santa is real. Last year, one of my girlfriends told her 9 year old the deal, and she made it so special! She took her to Disney and wrote this amazing letter, and I just thought, wow! That’s the way to go. Talking about how Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness. I gave it a ton of thought and even thought, this is the year! She is way too logical to keep falling for the Elf on the Shelf or Santa anymore.

But then…Laila caught me. She’s one of those sneaky cats who will go through my closet to try and find evidence, or who gets out of bed 1000 times to catch us in the act. At first it totally irritated me, but I know that she is just trying to work out what she thinks is happening with what is really happening. I’m an investigator by nature and a total over-thinker, so I can’t be too mad. However, I was totally crushed by her reaction. She saw me staging candy wrappers for Sebastian (that damn elf’s name that we gave him 5 years ago) and then came out of her room again to find that he moved to his new spot before she even went to sleep. Or before he had time to go back to the North Pole to snitch on her to Santa.

Y’all…she was so upset. She literally yelled at us, “Just tell me the truth”! We sent her back to bed for being extra, and honestly her reaction just really upset me. I’ve worked so hard to make Christmas special each year. From the freaking elf that is a pain in the ass to move each night, in the perfect spot that the cat, dog or 5 year old can’t mess with him. To carefully selecting the perfect thing each day for their advent calendar. Taking them to go look at all of the amazing Christmas lights every year, planning the best Santa gifts and arranging everything on Christmas Eve. And I finally had my out, I could just tell her!

But….I can’t. I’m not ready to take the magic away. As much as it takes up my time and energy every December, I don’t do it for myself. I do it for them! To have them experience that wonder and magic and amazement is everything to me. I feel like if I take that away, Christmas will be just a little bit less special. It may sound weird. But they won’t be little forever, and the best part of being little is BELIEVING. So I’m going to concoct the most creative damn way for Sebastian to come back from the North Pole, and I’m going to keep doing advent and making Christmas as magical as I possibly can. Because ya gotta believe!

UPDATE: my sister and I devised the perfect plan! Michael and I took the kids to dinner and to see some Christmas lights, and she came over to my house and set this up! She is a genius, I loved the letter that she wrote them! The kids freaked out, and let’s just say that the magic is alive and well.

So…raising a daughter. About that.

I never thought about the intricacies of it when I was pregnant and daydreaming about being my little girl’s best friend and braiding each other’s hair. Although for the record, we really do braid each other’s hair. Once she started growing up and maturing, life hit me in the face with a bag of rocks. Newsflash: raising a daughter is serious business. Laila has always been far too smart and mature for her own good. I know, I know…everyone says that about their children. “Oh he’s way too advanced for that class and he’s just bored, that’s why he has a D” or “She leads the pack, it’s not her fault that the other girls are being bullies around her! She isn’t the one participating”! No. I know what my daughter’s strengths and weaknesses are, and she is one smart cookie. What I worry about is that she will go down a bad road, or be taken advantage of, or just lose herself in the sea of hormones and expectations that the tweens and teens inevitably brings on.

I started noticing that Laila was too mature for her own good about two years ago. Flash back to my six year old daughter asking me about bras and makeup and generally things that no six year old has any business worrying about. I did have a moment of internal panic…have I been too uncensored in front of her? Have I been too candid to where she’s picked up on things outside of her pay-grade? Whatever the answer is, I took note. It was becoming more and more apparent to me that when she was allowed to play with makeup and nail polish, she wasn’t feeling “pretty like Mommy”, she was feeling GROWN. That’s a dangerous thing in my opinion, and the reason that I take raising a girl so seriously. I remember what it was like to be a tween and feeling these things: I got to play with makeup and all of a sudden, I felt 16 and fabulous.

Luckily I was fairly sheltered and I didn’t get set loose on the world looking like Tammy Faye Baker, but you get my point.

I’ve been so worried lately about how to raise Laila! How to make sure that she is kind, living up to her full potential, perceptive, aware…all of the things! Are her new chokers that she got for Christmas too grown? Is that enough coverage for a sleeveless shirt? SHIT, I got her little cupcake lip glosses because they were cute, and they’re so pigmented!!!! I realized that I was spending so much time saying NO to her and bringing down the hammer that I wasn’t saying anything nice and uplifting. I wasn’t spending time with her and just doing Mommy-Daughter things.

So I’ve decided to split my focus. Worry less about appearances (not too much less, put that lip gloss away girl!) and more about being intentional and coaching. It’s not just makeup that makes her feel “grown”, it’s the ignorance to what being grown really is! Thankfully she is smart enough to understand that when I sat her down and spoke to her about the joys of being 8, not 18. I have a long way to go with her, and LAWD KNOWS that I am dreading middle and high school. But I’m going to make my focus more about her behavior and (a little) less about appearances. I hope that when she is older we will be biffles for life, but right now is just not the time to be my daughter’s friend. Hopefully she appreciates that when she is actually grown.

I’m alive, I promise!

I talked all that trash about taking a break from social media while still blogging…and I did the exact opposite. Weird how that happens, huh? I mean, the first two weeks of the new year just shouldn’t count towards the fresh start in my opinion. We’re all scrambling to catch up from slacking off during the holidays, trying to get our shit together to log in a work out, or maybe just in a general post holiday haze. I’m all of the above! Anywho, I’m back for good with lots of rambling posts planned. But today is all about how absolutely freaking disgusting my eight year old’s room was when I decided to clean it this morning. Not kidding, I cleaned up empty Capri Sun pouches, what seemed like 9,000 craft beads, dozens of American Girl doll accessories, hunks of old dried modeling clay…and a partridge in a pear tree.

Homemade Chalkboard for Children's Room - Best quote!

I painted this chalkboard two years ago. I found the quote online randomly, and I loved it so much! I’ve gotten a bit better with my chalk art, but I can’t imagine repainting it now! Read: I’m too lazy.

Seriously, y’all! Laila is the complete opposite of me. She will hoard even the tiniest of scrap papers for it’s “sentimental value”, while I’ll throw anything away to have a clean house. I can’t with the clutter and junk everywhere, so I tend to stay out of her room. I know how much I valued having my own space and privacy as a child (because I never did!) and I try to give Laila room to grow and be herself. But DAMN, home girl sure knows how to wreck a room. Enter the bad cop Mom, with a trash bag and entire bottle of Thieves cleaner. I went to town; three hours later, we have a clean room!!! I took pictures to show some fun projects I did three to five years ago when I put her room together, and also to preserve the whole thirty minutes that her room looked like this. “Tornado Toddler” Carson was waiting in the wings to destroy it right after I snapped my last picture. It’s way more fun playing in Sissy’s room, right?

DIY Girl's Room Decor

I bought the bedding from Pottery Barn Kids about five years ago…I’m a sucker for the Princess and the Pea themed print. Starting to think about redoing her room now that she is nearing the Tween years…Lawd help me!

DIY Tissue Poms for a girl's room!

I made the pom-poms years ago, maybe five? The heart canvas used to be an owl print from Target. I spray painted it with glitter and gold, and used acrylic pink paint for the heart!

DIY Girl's Room Decor - Pink and Gold Glitter

We purchased the wood letters and frame from Michael’s and just spray panted them! I kept the two shades of dark/light pink consistent throughout her room, as well as the glittery gold. We also refinished this Craigslist find dresser with cabinet paint and Anthropologie drawer pulls that I found on sale. Her West Elm desk and chair was an UBER lucky estate sale purchase and it’s my favorite!

DIY Dresser Rehab and other DIY Girl's Room Decor

This dresser was a lucky Craigslist find – Solid wood and only $30!! We used white cabinet paint leftover from our kitchen reno (more on that later) and bought the knobs on sale from Anthropologie. I reused an old canvas painting for the glittery gold and pink flower, and she requested the 2017 banner that I used this NYE. It’s gold sequins and matches her decor perfectly! And obviously, the Home Diffuser, her only electronic in the room.

DIY Girl's Room Decor and Chalkboard Art

I bought the wood heart and blank “chalkboard” sign from Hobby Lobby. I sprayed glittery gold on the heart, and used a metallic gold oil-based paint sharpie to write out the sign!

Laila IS like me in that she loves to read. Madeline is one of my favorites, I read the French versions in middle school when I starting taking my first French classes. I want her to love French as much as I do, but so far she is very “EH” to it. 🙂

Banks literally sat there for hours and just watched me clean…didn’t even offer to help!